Yesterday, goaltender Tony Brun of Morris/Benson High School in Minnesota made 98 saves in a 12-0 loss to Litchfield/Dassel-Cokato. He easily broke the previous national high school hockey saves record of 84.
I got one question for the boys at Morris/Benson High: WHERE THE HELL IS THE DEFENSE!?!?! Where the hell is your pride?? Who the f***k taught you how to play hockey?? What an absolute embarrassment to the greatest sport played on two feet.
Let’s make one thing very clear before I continue to make fun of Morris/Benson’s defensive prowess: losing this contest was in no way shape or form the goalie’s fault. The man let in 12 goals on 110 shots. That’s a .891 save percentage- a solid, solid stat at any level of hockey.
Furthermore, this isn’t the first time that Tony Brun has had to step up to keep his team from losing by 20+. Through his first 3 seasons as starting goaltender, Tony has routinely made 50, 60, and even 70-plus saves in a game. That’s absolutely outrageous. To give it a little perspective, no NHL goaltender has faced more than 73 shots since 1941.
Now, although I’ve never seen Morris/Benson play in person, I’d say there is a very solid chance their defense never learned how to skate backwards…or shoot, pass, and stick handle for that matter.
If I’m the coach, I’m sitting everyone next game, taking 5 homeless people off the street, and telling them to just stand in front of the crease. Will the hobos provide any offense? No. But they definitely won’t let poor Tony Brun get bombarded by ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE SHOTS.
You wanna know how Tony’s parents felt watching him in this game? Probably the same way Tom Hanks felt in Saving Private Ryan when he watched half his company get shredded on D-Day:
(start at 1:40)