In the great year of our lord, 2016, there is no question Florida has consistently provided the internet with its most hilarious/absurd content. This video is further proof that America’s basement really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Let’s get to the breakdown of this glorious brawl.
Love to see the two esteemed gentlemen in the Suh jerseys not taking shit from anyone. Ferocious, meticulous, precise. That’s how I would describe the punches being thrown by Suh 1 and Suh 2. Imagine how terrified that guy in the Steelers jersey was. He’s got two dogs reeking of moonshine and Marlboro 27s barking down his throat.
He should have known the haymakers were coming. It’s a damn shame that beautiful mustache had to be assaulted like that. Ultimately, not even the 49ers fan- a clear victim of the sleeve monster- could step in and stop the Suhs from raining hell in those nosebleeds.
In the end, it doesn’t take a Rhodes scholar to know that this brawl was an overwhelming victory for the boys from Miami. However, what’s really important to recognize is that this fight was much more than just a physical victory.
Think about what else it represents. Not only do the Suh’s get to blow off some of the emotional stress that comes with having to fend off cotton mouth snakes every time they leave their trailer homes, but also- for a couple of fleeting minutes- they’re allowed to forget that they blew half their paycheck on tickets to watch a team that has made the NFL playoffs twice in the last 16 years.
A beautiful moment through and through.